why I don’t count calories…

Let me preface this by saying I am not knocking calorie counting, it works for many many people. It just doesn’t work for me.

Why doesn’t it work for me? maybe someone reading this will relate and hopefully it will help you make the changes you need to make to succeed. The whole premise with calorie counting is you have to be in a caloric deficit meaning you must burn more then you consume but that doesn’t take into account the quality of food consumed or any other nutritional needs. I am a master manipulator, not of people, just of food. My old habits aren’t being forced to change when I calorie count so my lazy ass doesn’t change them. I can easily skip breakfast and not feel hungry until 1 or 2pm, then I push through till I’m done work and grab a fast food Muffin on the way to get my husband or go home. that leaves me with the bulk of my daily calories left at dinner time. That’s when I binge, even a 1,200 cal diet leaves room for McDonalds or chips and chocolate, maybe pizza or some other restaurant meal. and that is how I manipulate calorie counting. Can I stay within my caloric limit? absolutely! but do I loose weight or see a change? NO!

Counting calories doesn’t force me to get enough protein, eat the right types of carbs, healthy fats or a round meal in general. My body runs sluggish still, it doesn’t have the nutrients I need to run optimally or help build muscle when working out, it doesn’t give me energy or help with gut problems, it doesn’t help with portion control (I can eat a whole box of those 100 cal snacks but what good is that going to do?)

So what do I do instead? I use the portion fix system by Beachbody, I frigging love it. It is a set of containers for the various food groups (fruit, veg, protein, carbs etc.) you are given a personalized meal plan based on your age, height, and weight. from there you are assigned a certain amount if each container and you just fill up that container that many times a day and BAM you have a ton of veg in your diet or BAM you have all the protein you need to help with muscle building. This forces me to eat a round diet each and every day. it’s all about whole foods, get rid of the pre-packaged junk, no you cannot fill the carb container with Oreo’s 😦 The best part is I am never starving, the amount you get isnt small because when your fueling yourself with whole foods your body can do a lot more with it.

Portion fix


The right mind set

They say half the battle is in the mind, with weight-loss I’d wager its more like 99% of the battle is in the mind. When the physical fatigue goes away and the cravings subside its still not an easy journey.

physically working out is not the hard part, its our inability to find joy in it that makes it hard to stick with, its the boredom of running on a treadmill with 12 other people running beside you on their treadmills, the confusion you feel when you walk into the gym not knowing where to start, the doubting of yourself after your done working out “did I workout long enough, hard enough, did I do the right things” its the overwhelming fear of failure that makes us stop before we even start. our minds constantly over thinking causing us to under act. I’ve been there, this was me for easily 10 years. countless gym memberships, never straying far from the elliptical because that was my comfort zone. The fear of other people seeing me fail at something more challenging froze me in my place, I’d look at the other people working various parts of their bodies with various machines, sweat pouring down their face and wonder if I needed all the bells and whistle machines to accomplish my weight loss goals. while in time I casually tried other machines, took the odd fitness course to learn to use them I never did succeed.

Food for me was the harder part and likely the more important of the two, I simply had no true knowledge of how to create a sustainable lifestyle that allowed me to feel full, enjoy food, and fuel my body with proper nutrients. It was easier for me to not eat then to eat properly, this always resulted in binging on junk food; not because I was hungry the hunger goes away fairly quickly but because I was pissed off. I was disappointed that I couldn’t make it work, I was frustrated that other people could eat what ever they wanted and maintain a light weight, I was confused by all the articles I read online with conflicting information. This without fail always led to me eventually giving up.

Why did I not succeed? because my mind wasn’t in it. I was the arbiter of my workouts, no one told me when to start or when to stop, when to push harder, squat deeper,or just keep going. That was all up to me, I didn’t want to be there, I was bored and felt hopeless so I would put in my time and live up to my self fulfilling prophecy of “it just isn’t working”.  I was left to my own devices with trying to figure out what is and is not a good food option and how to change my habits. I know I am not alone, I know these problems I encountered are not rare but actually quite common, just know if your reading this and see yourself in my words, you are not alone, it can be done, and it can be done with ease. Its not easy but it doesn’t have to be mentally taxing either.

3 months, I am almost at 3 months. My whole outlook on food has changed (most of the time) I have fun discovering new healthy delicious recipes and fun quick workouts that keep me engaged. Without the help of my coach and Beach Body I would still be sitting here 28 pounds heavier, feeling sick as a dog after shoveling way too much pizza into my mouth.

So close…

Today was weight in, I was up before my alarm excited to see the fruits of my labour. This past week was HARD! Shaun week pushed me farther then I have ever been pushed before and for that I am thankful. Did I want to give up? 100 times I did, the sweat pouring into my eyes burning them, the temperature 81 degrees in my house, my legs shaking from underneath me and my arms left feeling like jello.

28 pounds down. 4.1 pounds in the last week, thank you Shaun week! here I sit 2 pounds away from my first goal with roughly 20 days left until my goal deadline. My spirit cannot be broken today.

If you had asked me back in January, when everyone makes their weight loss new years resolution if I thought I would be here today I would have laughed. I had no reason to believe I would, I had never accomplished this before, I was constantly lost in the world of weight loss, trying to figure out what was the right way or the easy way to loose weight. It wasn’t until April when I somewhat apprehensively signed up for Beachbody that I found a program that worked for me. The portion control made eating less stressful then counting calories, Beachbody on demand made working out less of a chore and more effective, and my coach made getting the support I needed easy.

So today my post is one of happiness, joy, and encouragement. Here I sit 2 pounds away from my goal in roughly 10 weeks. I never thought it could be me, but it can. It can also be you if you just believe. Shoot me a message if your interested in Joining me on my journey!

No one can tell me how to feel about my body.

I don’t like my body, I mean I like parts of it but not it as a whole and that should be perfectly acceptable. If you love your body no matter the size then you keep on rocking it, I just don’t love mine.

I am not upset about it, I no longer try to convince myself to love my body instead I am working hard to make it a body I will love. My desires aren’t excessive, my goal weight is still considered over weight and I don’t dare wish for the body of a model, that’s just not what I want for myself. So, when I see people on either side of the spectrum telling me or others how they should feel about their bodies it infuriates me. “you shouldn’t be happy being overweight” “you should learn to love your body instead of trying to change it” irks me.

now, lets get this straight, I am pro the body positive movement, girls who are larger and rock it are amazing, girls who are thin and rock that are also amazing.

So what brings on this topic? an acquaintance of mine who I have on Facebook uses and promotes a different weight loss supplement then I use. This women has worked her butt off to loose the weight and she promotes her product on her account. she does not use negative wording she does nothing but encourage those who are interested in loosing weight and offers up her option when this was posted.

all body

now, as loving and encouraging as this could be in the right context, this was not that place. The person who posted this does not know everyone’s story, she does not know what is motivating these people to try and loose weight and frankly its none of her business. She had no right to question my acquaintances motives or her clients motives, it did not come across as body positive but as critical of their decision.

If someone is trying to better themselves for any reason, it is not up to anyone else to disagree with them.

A little about myself

Hey all, I just wanted to take the opportunity  to tell y’all about myself. I live in Canada, Americas hat, I am the mom to two cats and a rabbit, I like long walks on the beach and romantic dinners by candle light…..Oh wait, this is an introduction not a dating profile.

Lets try that again. So Im 28 and have struggled my whole adult life with being overweight. I was always a larger girl but it wasn’t until my mid teens that I really had an issue with it. I’ve dieted on and off, tried other shakes, bought countless gym memberships and always gave up when I saw little to no improvement. I tried to be Body positive and just be happy at my size but that was not the route for me. I was diagnosed type 2 diabetic late last year and sat in my doctors office crying. One of the things I always told myself is that I may be overweight but it didn’t have any medical issues from it so “it was ok”.

after that I saw a dietitian and she was lovely but much more focused on the diabetes management then the weight loss which is fair, that’s her job. she was able to get me into a fitness program but again life got in the way. I got my first job in my field and her program which had strict times was no longer a viable option. I truly felt like giving up on myself, I decided to take one last shot and damn I’m glad I did. It was around that time that my coach Amy followed up with me once again, after me quietly watching her for at least a year. From there I talked to her about the program she used and coached. Now Here I am, 2 month into my journey and I am down 24 pounds and up a ton of confidence.




When the cake calls

The sun is shining the guests have arrived and the baby shower is in full swing. The cake is made, the food is hot and the smell is intoxicating. I make myself a plate, 2 soft tacos, made with ground chicken; of course no one but I know it’s not beef, this is a beef eating crew. Potato skins, my dear friends, 2 of you will be joining the party on my plate, a scoop of dip and a hand full of chips to top it off. Just like old times, only this will be my only plate. I will not go back for seconds or thirds, I won’t sneak one more bite when no one is around, I’m not worrying about if I’m eating fast enough to get a second helping before it’s all gone. I’m simply enjoying my one plate.

Today I learnt that on your weight loss journey you can still derive joy from food, it simply should not be your only source of joy.

I treated myself to a slice of the cake that I spent hours making the day prior and in that moment I found my true weakness. Sugar, I want another piece, or maybe a cupcake… the cupcakes don’t have as much icing surely I can have a cupcake too? No. I had to talk myself down with the skill of a hostage negotiator, I would regret it greatly the next day, if not in a few hours.

Even as I’m writing this I feel a pang of guilt. Today I ate in moderation and I should be proud but tomorrow is weigh in day and I’m terrified that for the first time in my 2 month journey I won’t see a loss. I debate fitting in a workout but it’s supposed to be rest day, your body needs rest to rebuild and repair but what is more important right now?

I decide to trust in the program, it’s worked so well for me up to now, I will keep my rest day *phew* I’m exhausted anyway. Dinner will be veggie heavy and fat and carb low due to the increase of both at lunch. My water intake will be impeccable and I will work on some personal development this evening. This is how I will both take Joy from my old favourite comfort foods while still working towards my goals. Back on track tomorrow because

I decide to trust in the program, it’s worked so well for me up to now, I will keep my rest day *phew* I’m exhausted anyway. Dinner will be veggie heavy and fat and carb low due to the increase of both at lunch. My water intake will be impeccable and I will work on some personal development this evening. This is how I will both take Joy from my old favourite comfort foods while still working towards my goals. Back on track tomorrow because food is no longer my only source of joy and i no longer need unhealthy food every day. Two months of healthy eating and today I made the decision to enjoy some old favourites. That is the true meaning of moderation.

Work hard, play in moderation 😉